


Eddie's Not-So-Secret Feelings

by R_E_R6



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Accidental Co-Parenting, Angst, Buck speaks Spanish, Diaz Family Approve, Diaz Family Feels, Domestic Fluff, Eddie Can't Resist Him, Family Feels, Family Game Night, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hen Wins The Bet, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Wall Make-Outs, buck is good with kids, family gathering, slight humour, speaking spanish, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:33:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21729094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_E_R6/pseuds/R_E_R6
Summary: 5 times Eddie says sweet things about Buck in Spanish so Buck doesn't find out he's in love with him+1 time Eddie realises Buck speaks Spanish and knew all alongWith special guest stars: Eddie's entire family
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 257
Kudos: 1864





	1. A cute beginning

It starts as an accident. Buck had agreed to pick up Christopher from school so Eddie could help his cousin fix their Abuela's fence. Buck had offered to help too, of course, but Eddie knew he'd be distracted if Buck and Chris were there. He'd end up watching the two the whole time because Christopher would insist on helping and Buck would indulge him as he always does. His Abuela would notice his staring, she always does when he finds himself getting lost in his own mind around Buck, and it would only encourage her teasing. It was bad enough they bring up his feelings in private, he did not want to have the same conversation with Pepa and Erick around. Abuela at least waits until they're alone, his tia had always had a habit of bringing up his crushes while they are around and Eddie hates it; the fact that people can't understand what they are saying doesn't make it any less embarrassing or noticeable when he's turning red at her teasing.

Instead of helping, Eddie had encouraged Buck to keep Christopher home, using the excuse that they would all be busy outside and Christopher would be bored inside alone if Buck came to help. Buck had luckily accepted the excuse and smiled as he detailed all the activities he had planned to do that evening. Apparently, the fact that it was Friday and none of them had to be up the next day meant mess, sugar and a late night watching movies if Eddie was deducing correctly. Eddie's protests to the planned mess fell on deaf ears, Buck waving off his concerns as if he hadn't spoken.

"It's Christopher and Buck time, you don't get a say" Buck insists with a shit-eating grin "we'll tidy up before you get home and you won't even notice" 

Eddie notices. He steps on two stray Nerf bullets before he even makes it to the living room and sees the chaos awaiting there. The furniture has been moved, strategically placed as obstacles with sheets and blankets draped to create various areas of cover to hide in. More foam bullets are scattered across the floor and furniture, orange and yellow dotted around the room like sprinkles on a cake. 

"Buck? Christopher?"

The house is quiet, the tv screen asking 'are you still watching?'. With no answer, Eddie steps further into the living room and makes his way to where the couch should be. The spot is now occupied by two standing lamps draped in a sheet to create a tent, and Eddie notices a shadow from the light of the tv that looked suspiciously like the culprits of this mess. _Mess Buck had specifically ensured him he wouldn't even know had been there_ , Eddie thinks before he sighs out loud at the scene and shakes his head as he begins to walk around the makeshift tent. 

His annoyance is quickly replaced with fondness as he spots his boys and takes in the scene in front of him. The missing couch cushions are laid out on the floor along with the spare duvet and what must be every pillow in the house, the two boys curled together on top of them. Buck is sideways across their tent, propped up by pillows with his whole body facing the tv whilst Christopher is draped across him, legs stretched outwards as his torso rests against Buck's. A plate of crumbs sits between them, only half a cookie remaining, the rest of the chocolate chip remnants are smeared around Christopher's mouth. 

Eddie can't help the little chuckle that escapes at the sight, both having clearly fallen asleep during the movie. The sight of them is overwhelming, Eddie feels like he's been slapped with his own hurricane of adoration as he takes in the sight of them together. 

His crush on the younger man is not a new development, he'd always had feelings for Buck that allude to more than just friendship. Just recently though, those feelings have intensified. 

Buck had begun spending even more time with them after the tsunami and what followed. Both he and Christopher were comforted by each others presence and there had been more than a few nights that Buck had come over late at night, struggling to sleep without seeing for himself that Christopher was okay. Both struggled with harrowing nightmares and sought comfort in each other in a way Eddie both understood and was envious of at first. As much as he was glad Christopher could seek comfort from his trauma, he couldn't help but be a little jealous that he preferred Buck's comfort than his own when the other man was around. Christopher never settled with him after a nightmare as well as he did when it was Buck's arms he snuggled into to fall back to sleep. During those months after the event, it wasn't uncommon for Eddie to find his son curled up to the older man just like this when he stayed over. He would search out Buck instead of Eddie whenever he was around and sleep beside him with streaks of dried tears across his face from his terrors. 

Eddie understands now, though, and is glad they had each other during such a dark time. They helped each other and both are continuing to move on each day. Here they rest peacefully, neither face marred with signs of fear or distress, Buck's fingers curled into Christopher's hair where his head rests over his heart. Eddie can't help himself as he takes out his phone and snaps a picture of the scene, mess included, and send it to the team. He hesitates before also selecting his Abuela's contact and typing out the message to them all: _Never trust these two when they say they'll tidy up before you get home._ Eddie rereads the message, checking he isn't being too obvious about his fondness before he hits send.

His Abuela replies almost instantly as he'd guessed she would. No matter how old any of them get, every member of the Diaz family can expect Isabel Diaz to be sitting with her phone in hand from the minute they leave her house, waiting to receive confirmation that they've made it home safe.

_Tu familia es muy linda ;)_

Eddie groans quietly to himself at the sight of the winking face, questioning why he ever taught her to use emojis. It only intensified her teasing and leaves him blushing to himself in the dark. He sends back a quick eye-roll before his eyes find the subjects of his torture again. He can't deny she is right, the two make for an adorable sight. Eddie's desires bubble in his chest at her implication, wishing they could be a family as she had said. Buck fits right in and Eddie would give anything for Buck to want them the same way Eddie wants him in their lives. 

"lindo" 

The word slips out through his lips almost against his will, a little too loud in the deafening silence of the room. Eddie's adoration boils over, unable to hold in his endearment as he looks at them. Terror strikes him as, at that moment, Buck's eyes flutter open. He blinks at Eddie tiredly, eyes questioning and Eddie freezes hoping to God he hasn't heard him. Buck's not an idiot and is curious and determined by nature, traits Eddie usually admires of the younger man. It is a dangerous combination for Eddie right now, though, and only stirs up worry. Eddie knows that if Buck heard Eddie and wants to know what he said and Eddie denies him, it would be easy for the other man to look it up. Eddie would be humiliated if Buck caught on to his feelings from this slip-up. Luckily, Buck doesn't react beyond a soft confused hum that has Eddie smiling softly in relief. Buck gently sits up, cradling Christopher so he didn't jostle him awake.

"Damn we fell asleep, I'm so sorry man I swear we were going to tidy up the rest after the first movie"

Eddie snorts and raises his eyebrows asking "was that your idea or his?" as he nods down to his son. Buck bites his bottom lip looking sheepish as he turns his head to the side. Eddie hums knowingly at Buck's avoidance and the other man caves,

"I couldn't say no man, your kid has me hooked. He said wanted to watch a movie first and we'd already cleaned the kitchen and he wanted to make a tent too so there wasn't a point in cleaning until after"

Eddie chuckles, he'd be lying if he said he hadn't been expecting something of the sort. Buck has a habit of giving into Christopher and Eddie had been expecting something like this from the moment Buck agreed to watch him with that excited glint in his eyes.

"So what you're saying is my eight-year-old tricked you into abandoning clean up to build a tent and watch movies and somehow didn't realise he was planning to fall asleep before he had to help?"

Buck scratched at the back of his neck and Eddie shook his head at him laughing at Buck's speechless "uh, well-"

"You let him get away with too much, Buck"

"Yeah well, he's too cute. I don't think there's much he could ask of me that I'd be able to deny him" Buck admits, chuckling softly at himself before yawning "I promise I'll clean up before I go"

Eddie's heart whimpers, yearning to reach out for the man in front of him. Instead, he steps forward and picks up up Christopher before his hands could follow his thought and mouth down a path of betrayal and caress Buck's face like they want to.

"Stay, it's late. I'll put this little trickster to bed and he can help clean up the mess you _both_ made in the morning. I think your battle tired you out" 

"We had a lot of fun, I wish you had been here. I could have used the backup, in here and the kitchen" Buck jokes.

"Dios, food fight? do I even want to see the kitchen?"

"Relax Eds, I told you we cleaned that up already. We even saved you some cookies" Buck grins and Eddie can't help but return it with his own smile as he carries Christopher off to bed.

"Well feel free to leave me in bed whilst you finish cleaning in the morning" He urges as he carries Christopher to bed, leaving Buck to make his own way to the spare room "Goodnight Buck"

"Night Eddie"

Eddie lays in bed that night and recalls Buck's adorable confusion after Eddie had called the two _lindo,_ sure he'd heard and thankful that Buck hadn't asked what it meant. He hadn't meant to say it, but now he had said it out loud and somewhat to Buck's face, he couldn't help but yearn for a day he could speak his feelings freely. 

Buck lay awake across the hall, his heart and mind at war. His logical mind knows that Eddie was talking about Christopher when he'd voiced his cuteness out loud. These thoughts pound, trying to drum out the sound of his hopeful heart trying to push his desires into his head. His heart beats on loudly, determined as it asks _then why was he looking at me?_


	2. Stupid, Handsome Idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck risks his life on a call. Eddie isn't happy about it, but he can't stay mad at his boy for long.

The second time is also an accident. Eddie almost collapses in relief as Buck finally emerges from the flames and passes off the puppy to the little boy waiting in the street, who cries out in relief. Eddie's own relief is short-lived before Buck saunters over, grinning as if he didn't just recklessly risked his life. Eddie's worry subsides suddenly, twisting into rage now he can see that Buck is fine and apparently unbothered by his near-death experience. The reckless idiot runs into collapsing house surrounded by fire after a dog and just strolls over like it's normal. Eddie's blood is boiling.

"idiota!" He yells, shoving his hands against Buck's chest "¿Estás tratando de matarte?"

Buck hold his hands up as he stumbles backwards from the force of Eddie's hands "Woah! Eddie calm down"

"Calm down?" He yells incredulously and Buck winces as he realises his attempts to placate Eddie have only fueled his friend's rage "Are you trying to kill yourself?" Eddie repeats.

"No, Eddie, of course I'm not, but I couldn't just let the dog die. I could hear him" Buck's eyes are wide and pleading for Eddie to understand. 

"What about you? What about us? You can't leave the dog but we have to watch you die? You didn't even tell us what you were doing Buck! I'm supposed to have your back, remember?"

Buck's face drops as he takes in the extent of Eddie's panic. Eddie's hands are shaking, his shoulders rigid and his voice is tight as he speaks. As he looks around he can see similar signs of worry on the faces of the rest of the team.

Buck's voice cracks as he notices the redness in Eddie's eyes "I'm sorry. I didn't think, I should have told you" Buck steps towards Eddie, puppy eyes on full force, and places his hands on the older man's shoulders "I'm fine, I promise. I'm really sorry. I won't do it again okay? Please don't be mad at me"

"You better not" Eddie instructs before pulling Buck into a hug. Buck lets Eddie envelop him, glad for the contact and relaxes, bringing his own arms around Eddie and whispers his apology once again as they pull apart and look at each other. Buck shoots him a sheepish grin, hoping to cheer Eddie up. Eddie huffs a laugh in response, shaking his head and mumbling "Estúpido, guapo idiota" as he hugs Buck again.

Buck's head jerks away and he leans back to look at Eddie. He had convinced himself that Eddie hadn't called him cute three days prior but now his heart pounds as he registers what Eddie has said, Eddie was definitely talking about him this time. Buck's eyebrows raise in disbelief, 

"What did you just call me?"

Eddie's mouth pulls into a firm life, shoulders stiffening again as he steps back.

"I called you a stupid idiot" Eddie lies. Buck watches as Eddie looks away, avoiding his gaze as he demands "Don't do that again, okay?"

Buck knows what he heard, he wants to call Eddie on it and demand to know if he means it. He doesn't though. Eddie's whole body is tense aside from his fidgeting fingers and Buck recognises his discomfort at his line of questioning. He wants to tell Eddie he's handsome too but Eddie won't look at him and Buck doesn't want to say anything that will make Eddie more uncomfortable.  _ Maybe it was an accident? _ Instead, Buck narrows his eyes and playfully jostles Eddie's shoulder.

"That's not very nice, Eddie. I just saved a puppy and you're calling me names. Most people would call me heroic"

It seems to work, Eddie's shoulders relax as the two walk back towards the truck to make room for the other team to go in with the hoses.

"Yeah well, most people don't know you as well as I do. Heroic or not, you're still an idiot" Eddie smirks and Buck throws an arm over his shoulder and winks.

"I'll take heroic idiot" He relents "seeing as that's all the credit you're willing to give my poor puppy-saving ego"

"You're ego doesn't need feeding" Hen throws in as they climb onto the truck. Eddie laughs looking more relaxed now and Buck is glad. 

The revelation comes to Buck later that day during a rescue. An elder Hispanic couple are trapped in their car, neither seem to be suffering any life-threatening injuries but they're clearly freaking out over the accident. Both are visibly shaken, the wife muttering prayers to herself in Spanish whilst the husband twists and turns trying to pry his way out as he yells in panic

"Ayúdanos, por favor ayuda. Mi esposa está sangrando, no sé qué pasó"

Before Buck has a chance to reply, Eddie is at his side

"Plates are Mexican, they probably don't speak English. I got this, you help Bobby with the roof" 

The realisation hits Buck like a wrecking ball. Eddie doesn't know Buck speaks Spanish. 

When they're back at the station Buck gets lost in his thoughts, scouring his memories for any times he's mentioned his time in South America to Eddie, any time he's spoken Spanish around the other man. He can't think of any and all the pieces begin to fit together. It becomes clear that Eddie is complimenting him in Spanish because he thinks Buck doesn't understand because he doesn't want Buck to know he's saying them. Buck still has questions, lots in fact, but he decides the answers will have to wait. Eddie isn't ready to give them freely and Buck won't pry the answers, too uncertain of what buttons he may be pushing. Buck doesn't know what Eddie feels for him, but whatever it is he's clearly not ready for him to know. So, Buck decides it's best to just let it happen. As long as Eddie doesn't know he speaks Spanish it will be fine and maybe Eddie will eventually want him to know and choose to tell Buck himself. Maybe they can be together, he just has to wait for Eddie to be sure. If there's one thing Buck is sure is worth waiting for, it's Eddie Diaz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop 2 chapters down. Now to edit Part 3... : / 
> 
> : D oh well, I love the torture


	3. Goodnight, sweetheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie gets even more angsty, Buck wants Eddie to share what's on his mind.

It's a month after Buck's daring puppy rescue and Eddie is conflicted. He feels like he's flirting with fate. Every conversation with Buck feels like a timed bomb, ticking down with every word muttered in Spanish, and Eddie doesn't know how much time is left on the clock. He's just sitting on the bomb and waiting to see if it all blows up in his face because the clock has started and it's too late to go back. 

Since his slip-up at the fire Buck seems to be a near-constant presence in his life and Eddie is finding it hard to keep his feelings hidden. When Buck had once again not questioned his Spanish, Eddie had begun to experiment. He'd thrown in some compliments here and there, things he would say if Buck returned his feelings. It's not always to Buck, usually he mutters them to himself but Buck hasn't questioned any of it and Eddie has begun to grow bolder. The more of his feelings he lets out, the more freeing it feels. Not only because he is allowing himself to feel them but because the more he lets it out the less he feels like his feelings are building up waiting to spill out. He's reasoned with himself, decided that indulging in his feelings in secret is the best way to ensure Buck never finds out. If he lets them out, controls them, then they can't overwhelm him. As long as he only lets out his feelings in Spanish, Buck never has to know and Eddie can't ruin their friendship. Buck won't leave him. Eddie won't drive him away by wanting too much. So he opens his heart, bit by bit, behind a shield and lets it beat freely within its protections, growing more and more confident in his plan as Buck continues not to question him. 

"Hey, where are you guys? I thought we were doing a game night at your house." Eddie groans in frustration as Buck's voice fills the truck.

"Still on the way back from my sisters, got stuck in traffic. Some sort of accident backed everything up." 

"Ouch, how long you been stuck?"

"Well, we started the forty-minute drive an hour and a half ago." 

Buck lets out a low whistle and a sympathetic "damn"

"We're starving Buck!" Christopher calls out and Eddie's heart flutters as Buck's low rumbling chuckle comes through the speakers.

"I'm guessing you haven't had dinner yet, then"

"Nope" Eddie confirms "Had some lunch at my sisters but it was kids party food, so not exactly a meal"

"Aww, my poor boys" Bucks coos. Eddie's face flushes at the choice of words, he'd give anything for Buck to mean that the way Eddie does, for Buck to be theirs.

"Y-yeah, luckily we're through the worst of it. Should be there in half an hour if you want to wait around? Or you can go, whatever you want" Eddie stutters, there's a completely illogical part of his brain telling him that Buck can somehow hear that he's blushing. He's oddly worried about it.

"No! Don't go Bucky! We have to have videogames night" Christopher complains, his disappointment evident. Eddie opens his mouth to soothe him, but Buck beats him to it.

"How about, instead of leaving or sitting here doing nothing, I cook us up some dinner then we can watch tv whilst we eat and then play when we're done?" Eddie bites his lip to hold back his smile as Christopher's cheer fills the car. It's times like this that remind Eddie why he's so in love with his best friend. The thought of coming home to his Buck and a hot meal after a terrible trip is his idea of heaven right about now. 

"Eddie, that okay?" Buck seems unsure and Eddie realises he's been smiling silently to himself and hasn't said anything.

"Yeah, that sounds perfect, thank you"

"Don't thank me, it's your food and I'm hungry too. Win-win for me"

"Still, thank you. Guess we'll see you when we get home"

"Yes, you will. See you guys soon"

Eddie's stomach flutters for the rest of the journey. Chris perks up as soon as they pull into the street and see Buck's car in their driveway, meanwhile butterflies swarm beneath Eddie's skin. Walking into his home that evening is like a fantasy. Buck pops out of the kitchen as he hears them come through the door, lifting Christopher into his arms as the young boy reaches out. Eddie watches the two, entranced as Buck asks him all about the party, Christopher replying enthusiastically. God, he wants this every day. Buck, here with them, spending time with Christopher. 

"That's great, I'm glad you had fun, Buddy. Why don't you help your dad set the table, huh? Dinner should be ready soon"

Eddie's attention returns at Buck's words, blinking his eyes into focus to see Buck looking at him, those insanely long lashes fluttering. "That okay?" Eddie blushes at being caught admiring them together and scratches his neck nervously.

"Yeah, I'll uh- I'll just start setting up then" 

Eddie passed Buck to grab the plates from the kitchen, skin catching fire as Buck places a hand on his back. Buck's steady hand guides Eddie past himself and Christopher and into the other room before following behind him into the kitchen. Eddie almost wishes Buck had walked ahead of him, he could have avoided the desire coursing through him at having Buck's hands on him in a show of such casual intimacy. As much as he enjoyed the action, it aches to feel such things when he knows Buck doesn't feel the same way.  _ It's just a hand, Eddie, not his hand in marriage, get ahold of yourself! _

Eddie manages to avoid touching Buck the rest of the night, made easier as Christopher barriers himself between them as they eat and play. He can't avoid his own thoughts, though, and more than once he finds himself wishing every night could be like this as they spend time together. They feel like a family, everything seemingly effortless between them as they joke back and forth, Christopher cackling at the men's banter. Eddie finds himself watching Buck as the night winds down, switching games for tv as Christopher dozes between them. He knows it won't happen though and the thought hurts, but he can have this, he can enjoy this. He'll feel bad about it later.

"You're staring" Buck whispers "What's up?" Buck's eyes are dazzling as they catch the light of the tv in the dimly lit room and it takes Eddie a second to realise he's been caught watching him.

"Uh- nothing" Eddie turns his head abruptly and stands "Just- I'd better get Chris to bed. It's getting late. In fact I think I'll just head to bed too" 

"Oh, shit. Sorry, I didn't mean to overstay-"

"No" Eddie halts him "that is not what I meant at all. I just figured you were staying, I shouldn't have just assumed. You could never overstay your welcome here, you know that right?" 

Eddie doesn't mean for it to sound so desperate, but he needs Buck to know. He can't tell him he loves him but he needs him to know that he wants him in his life. Needs him, honestly. If Buck left them it would break Eddie, it's why he can't let his feelings push him away. His voice comes out more desperate than he means it to and Buck's eyebrows scrunch together.

"Hey, are you okay?" Buck's concern is touching and Eddie can't help the soft smile it brings out.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. It's making me act weird, sorry" Eddie lies, he seems to be doing that a lot lately. To Buck and to himself. Buck looks ready to argue but he sighs instead, says "Whatever you say, man. Just know you can tell me anything, alright?" 

"Of course" Eddie croaks out the words almost choking on the lie. If that were true he wouldn't have this problem. He can't tell Buck how he really feels. He can't lose him over this, he just has to control his feelings. 

Buck follows down the hall as Eddie carries Christopher to bed, watches them fondly as Eddie brushes back his curls and gently kisses his forehead. As Eddie turns to leave he is surprised to see Buck watching them, smiling softly.

"You're a good dad, you know that?" Buck's voice is soft, barely above a whisper and it still catches Eddie off guard. 

"Thanks" Eddie chuckles awkwardly, not knowing how to respond as he shuffles past Buck in the hallway mumbling goodnight as he crosses the hall to his bedroom door.

Eddie feels Buck's hand on his wrist and turns, surprised as he is pulled in to Buck's arms. It shocks him still for a moment before he relaxes into the other man's arms. How can he not when it feels so right?

"I don't know what's going on with you Eddie, what you're feeling, just know that you can tell me about it you need to. I'm always going to be here for you, no matter what". Buck's gaze is piercing and Eddie's eyes begin to water as he laughs wetly into Buck's shoulder. He knows exactly how ridiculous this is. The one person he can't talk to about this is holding him in his arms telling him he'll never leave. If only Eddie could believe it. The sentiment brings a smile to his face, it's not every day the man you love tells you exactly what you want to hear, whether it's true or not Eddie's relieved at the words.  _ Buck doesn't know, he's still around, he plans on sticking around. _

"Thanks. I just need some time to think, I'll be fine" Eddie assures. Buck's eyes bore into his, burning with more questions in a way that causes Eddie's nerves to tremble. Instead of voicing them he nods slowly, his hands squeezing Eddie's shoulders comfortingly. 

"Okay, just know I'm here. Goodnight, Eddie"

Buck smiles softly and steps back towards the guest room, eyes still locked on Eddie's. Eddie's tongue runs across his lip as he sighs, the breath practically pulling the words out of him

"buenas noches, cariño"

Eddie steps back into his room and closes the door before Buck can say anything else, his forehead against the wood as he gathers his thoughts. He hears Buck take two small steps towards his door, can feel him on the other side, and holds his breath. Eddie prays Buck walks away, and sighs in relief as he hears the footsteps retreat followed by the door closing down the hall. He doesn't know why he said it, had never done so with Shannon. With Buck though, it felt fitting to share such terms of endearment. Buck was definitely endearing and Eddie wishes he could tell the world how much he adores him. He can't though, he can't lose him. Eddie knows his heart won't survive another break, losing Buck would shatter the scarred pieces irreversibly. He can't let himself break. He can't drive Buck away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wohoo those are the one's I've written so far. Now just to finish the last two and put the +1 into actual sentences. I'm thinking of going more Buck-central for the next chapter to get more of his take on the situation.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck is confused and just wants to do what's best for Eddie. Hen and Chimney look for answers. Buck develops his theories more.

Buck doesn't know what to do. Eddie, quite frankly, is driving him crazy. Straight up Loco.

The older man has grown more confident in his affections, or at least as confident as Buck imagines one can be when they feel the need to hide behind a perceived language barrier. Buck doesn't get it. Eddie will call him sweetheart like they're lovers whilst 'bro-hugging' like a frat boy. They hugged normally before Eddie started showing signs of having feelings, why is Eddie changing how they hug? Buck is beyond confused. He also misses their hugs, they're not nearly as frequent and it's horrible.

The only explanation Buck can come up with at first is that this is new to Eddie. It would make sense, if Eddie's never been with a guy it could explain his hesitation. It doesn't explain the confidence though. Surely if he was having a sexuality crisis he wouldn't be so relaxed in his affections towards a guy, and damn Eddie had relaxed. Since the roof collapse six weeks ago, Eddie's affections have grown. Now nearly every conversation is littered with little words and phrases that make Buck's heart stutter. 

Yesterday Buck had been cleaning the truck, bent over to scrub dried dirt from the tires when Eddie nearly killed him. Buck blamed it on being startled when he'd stumbled and kicked over the bucket of water as he landed on the floor. He was startled, but not by Eddie's presence. No, he'd seen the other man approaching, his feet visible underneath the truck as he'd made his way around. Eddie's presence hadn't startled him. What had given him a heart attack was the low whistle and the way Eddie's voice dipped as he commented

"Tantas curvas y yo sin frenos"

_ Oh. My. God. _

Eddie rushed forward after a pause and Buck couldn't move, he just sat wet and stunned in the puddle of suds as they spilled out around him.  _ Okay, so Eddie clearly has no problems with being attracted to men. That was way too flirty. That was Buck 1.0 level flirty. _ Buck's mind raced a mile a minute,  _ Why is he only flirting when he thinks I don't know? _

Buck startled as Eddie's hand grabbed his, the other holding his waist as he'd pulled him into a standing position. Buck, wide-eyed and mentally incapacitated just nodded his head between Eddie and the pool of water. To Eddie's lips, which were way too close. God he wanted to kiss him, can remember the deep hearing, screaming at him to kiss the other man. 

"You okay, did I startle you"

Buck just nodded, dumbfounded. What was he supposed to say  _ "Yeah, I'm very shocked to hear you're so blatantly checking me out, by the way are you out because I know and I'd really like to jump you"? _

No, Buck's silence was for the best as he turned quickly, avoiding Eddie's concern as he gestured wildly to his soaked uniform and practically sprinted into the locker room. Sitting alone in the showers fully clothed, he'd placed his head between his knees trying to organise his thoughts. 

It definitely didn't seem like Eddie was hesitant about liking men, in fact he seemed pretty damn into the idea of Buck's very male body. The thought had made Buck groan out loud in such a way that he hoped no one else had decided to go to their locker. They definitely would have heard it and known exactly the kind of thoughts Buck was struggling against. It doesn't make sense, if Eddie like guys, if he knows he likes guys, if he likes Buck, why won't he say anything? 

Buck had tried, he'd been touching Eddie more, a hand on his back, a hand through his hair. He could see the effect, Buck had become accustomed to the reactions he could get from people in his early twenties. He knew when someone was into it, craving his hands on them. So why did Eddie act like it wasn't happening even as he leaned into it? Why does he flirt with Buck and pretend they're just friends? 

Buck had eventually pulled himself together and gotten dressed. He was no closer to understanding Eddie's feelings, but he knew he had to respect them. Attraction doesn't mean interest. Interest doesn't mean he wants to act on it. Buck has an inkling than Eddie feels something for him, enough to build on, enough to make Buck's heart soar with hope of the life they could have together. He can't act on it though. For whatever reason, Eddie has placed a boundary between them and Buck intends to respect it. Eddie's okay with the touching, clearly okay with admitting his feelings to himself but he doesn't want Buck to know. So Buck decides not to pry. If Eddie doesn't want it mentioned, Buck won't bring it up. He won't question him, he won't push him. Eddie needs to come to terms with whatever he is dealing with and he doesn't want Buck involved. All Buck can do is make sure Eddie knows he can be honest when he wants to. He needs to be a friend, no matter how much he wants them to be more.

So Buck had left the locker room and sat next to his friend at dinner as normal, laughed and joked as normal and ignored the fact his best friend apparently has a thing for his ass. Normal.  _ God, Eddie Diaz is going to kill me and I'm pretty sure I'm going to let him. _

As normal as he'd tried to be it's made clear he's been acting off as Hen and Chimney corner him in a bunk room.

"You've been pretty out of it lately, Buckaroo," Chim observes "Is there something you maybe want to get off your chest" 

Buck suddenly understand the look in Eddie's eyes that night outside Eddie's bedroom. The dread he must have felt. Buck knows they want to help, just as he had. He knows they are offering a judgement free zone, just as he had. But this was a secret he couldn't tell, for whatever reason Eddie wants to keep this hidden and so Buck will take it to the grave if he has to. 

"No, just had a lot to think about"

"Mhmm, something to do with a fellow firefighter perhaps?" Hen encourages "You know we all see how you are around him. If you need to vent, we're here. You don't need to keep your feelings a secret from us"

Buck's eyebrows scrunch together, eyes darting between the two.

"You think I'm secretly in love with Eddie?"

"Well, I mean you said it Bud" Chim urges

Buck chuffs, lips twitching.

"I'm not secretly in love with Eddie" Buck denies and Hen shoots his an incredulous look.

"Boy please, I don't know why you're even bothering. You've told us you like guys and girls and yet the only person you ever talk about is Eddie Diaz. You're practically co-parenting his kid. He clearly loves you too, why aren't you going for this? You're meant to be Buck Buckley, mister go-for-it"

Buck lifts his hand to her mouth to halt her rising voice. The daggers she shoots should freeze him in fear but he's too busy thinking. He needs to play this smart. Eddie doesn't want people to know, so Buck will take the secret to the grave if he has to. 

"I am not secretly in love with Eddie" Buck says "Bullshit!" Chim calls. Buck laughs softly and shakes his head at their raised eyebrows.

"I am not secretly in love with Eddie" Buck stresses. Hen realises what he's saying first. Her eyes are sparkling, grin practically manic as he removes his hand. Chimney raises his eyebrows, not having expected Buck to be so forward with his confession.

"I, Evan Buck Buckley, am completely and shamelessly in love with my best friend, Eddie Diaz" Buck says "No doubt, not hesitation. I want to spend the rest of my life with that man and I have every intention of doing so. I just need you guys to keep that to yourselves"

The two are confused and go to speak

"I have my reasons. You don't need to know them or understand them. I have them and you need to respect them. You get to know my truth, you don't get to out it. If this happens, it will happen on our terms"

Chim nods dumbfounded. He'd expected they would have to work to make Buck realise he harboured feelings for Eddie, yet Buck had all but planned the wedding. Hen's eyes are soft, the curious eyes if someone who knows she's not getting the full story. Thankfully they're also the eyes of someone who knows when to stop searching for the answers. Hen's hand reaches out, squeezing Buck's arm.

"Whatever this is Buck, we're here for you, and we're proud of you. You've come a long way from your first day here. I liked that kid, but I love and adore the man he turned into. Whatever you've got going on that's holding you back, I have every faith you'll figure it out. In the mean time I want you to know that if you change your mind and you do want to talk, we are here for you no matter what"

Chim nods "Whatever you need Buddy. You don't want us to mention it, so we won't mention it. This conversation never happened."

"Thank you. I promise I'm doing what I think is best for us right now"

He wasn't lying. He'd been unsure before, but Hen and Chimney had just confirmed he's right to let Eddie figure this out, just like they had just said they would do for him. Standing here, in Eddie's shoes he'd needed understanding, he'd needed them to stay out of it. He'd needed them to do what Buck has been doing for Eddie. 

They'd made sure he knew he had the option and Buck will do the same. He'll show Eddie he can have this and he'll show Eddie that he's there for him whether he chooses to have this or not. He loves Eddie and he thinks Eddie feels the same, but Eddie needs to be ready. Buck needs to wait for Eddie to be rid of whatever is holding him back. He'd hurtled headfirst in love with Eddie, full-throttle no brakes but he and Eddie aren't the same. Eddie is taking his time to get there. Maybe Eddie is still in the closet? Maybe he's not ready for everyone to know? Buck doesn't know why for definite and he doesn't know how long it will take for Eddie to cross that line to him. He just knows he'll be waiting when he does.

Buck doesn't want them to bring it up, so they don't. Neither Hen nor Chimney talks about it with Buck again. They don't give him a speech about telling Eddie how he feels. They don't give him a pep talk to disperse his hesitation. They dont tell him about Eddie's ex-boyfriend or the time he flirted with Grant, the bartender at Hen's favourite gay bar to assure him Eddie is definitely into guys. They don't tell him any of it. They respect his need to be left alone with his assurance that he's working through it, that he'll figure it out. They trust him, they trust his judgement. They don't even bring it up to Eddie. They let them work it out themselves, trusting they know what they're doing. They forget that the two guys they're talking about are complete oblivious idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4. So close to the reveal. Only one Moore round of torture left to go. Unless there's more torture in the final chapter. Who knows... ; )


	5. Friends, family...lovers?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some awkwardness, some fluff and a conversation with someone special lead Eddie to making a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite a long one.
> 
> I went from procrastinating and having no idea what to write. Deleted everything twice and had no idea how to start then all of a sudden I couldn't stop so I hope you enjoy, it's been stressful.

**Part 5.**

"Hey Eds, how's the party planning going?" Buck teases. Eddie groans in response as he looks up from his phone. It hasn't stopped vibrating since Buck walked into the firehouse living space, each time followed by a groan or sigh from Eddie.

"This has gotten way out of hand. Abuela is turning this 'small gathering' into a carnival."

Buck can't help but laugh at Eddie's exasperation. Eddie's never been one to bask in attention and has become increasingly stressed about his upcoming birthday, since his grandmother decided he needed to celebrate it properly. It had started off with inviting his parents to LA for a family dinner, then his mom's sister had been invited because Pepa was going and it had all escalated from there. When Isabel had invited Buck and told him to tell the team she'd said 'everyone is going to be there' and Eddie had nearly choked.

"You're so dramatic. Let them spoil you, you deserve it." Buck sits next to Eddie on the couch, thighs brushing as he takes the phone out of Eddie's hand. "They're going to do it anyway, so you might as well just enjoy it."

"Easy for you to say, you'd love the attention. I'd rather just cancel the whole thing. I really don't see what the big deal is, it's not even a milestone birthday." 

Buck chuckles as the phone vibrates in his own hand and Eddie glares at it. Buck puts the phone between his thighs and grabs Eddie's hands in his, ducking to grab Eddie's attention as the other man's eyes linger on where his phone now sits.

"Eddie, you've had a tough year, they just want to give you something to look forward to and enjoy."

"Well I'm not looking forward to it," Eddie whines and drops his head onto Buck's shoulder. Buck can't help the fond smile at Eddie's dramatics.

"Yes you are, you love your family and you're glad they're coming. You're only stressing because they're coming specifically to see you and you have it in your head that you're not worth the trouble." 

Eddie lifts his head, eyes narrowed. He feels called out and he is unable to deny Buck's accusation. It's not the only reason he doesn't want this party, but it's definitely one of them. The main reason is that Buck and the whole team are going to be there and Eddie's family have already been teasing him about finally meeting the boy he's in love with, because Abuela is a gossip who secretly loves to torture him. Between her and Pepa, Eddie is pretty sure the whole family knows he has feelings for Buck and he's dreading Buck being in the same house as them. 

At Eddie's silence Buck sighs and places a hand on his jaw to lift the other man's face. "You deserve this, Eddie. You're worth the effort."

Eddie feels his face heating at the attention. His lust-filled thoughts scream at him, reminding him how close they are, how Buck is touching him so sweetly, how much he wants to kiss him, and how easy it would be to do so if he just leant forward a little bit. Eddie clears his throat, head jerking back as he laughs awkwardly to ease the tension.

"Yeah, I- uh. I guess I can try and stop stressing."

Buck is disappointed as Eddie pulls away, just as he is every time, but he knows he can't push him. It's driving Buck crazy.

"Good." Buck's voice is steady despite his battle to keep his feelings at bay. He wants to ask why Eddie is holding back from what they could have. He wants to beg Eddie to give them a chance and tell him how he feels. It kills him that he can't. He hates seeing Eddie hesitate and pull back, and he can't stand seeing Eddie overthink before he places a hand on Buck's shoulder. 

The more Buck has been paying attention, the more he has noticed the way Eddie calculates his movements when they are together. The older man is careful about where he puts his hands or what he says. He assumes it's to make sure that Buck doesn't find out about his feelings. In a way, Buck feels guilty about it, Eddie doesn't want him to know about his feelings and here he is analysing them. He's thought about coming clean a lot more in the past few days. He felt bad about lying to Eddie and watching him overthink. He's pretty sure it's contributing to Eddie's expanding circle of stresses and he can't stand the idea of it. He wants Eddie to know he doesn't need to do it, but Buck doesn't know if he would cause more stress by coming clean. He can't possibly know if he's doing more harm by confessing until he knows why Eddie is hiding his feelings and he can't know that without asking. 

The whole situation is making Buck dizzy.

"You guys okay? Did something happen?" 

Eddie and Buck are pulled back to the moment by Bobby's question. The older man observed them, worried by the two. They had been starting into thin air, both lost in thought when he'd walked in, Buck looked to be fighting a grimace.

"Yeah, just trying to convince Eddie to stop being a downer about the party. He's stressed." 

Buck doesn't like lying and yet here he is, hiding things again. It kills him not to tell Bobby the truth when it would probably help. The guilt would eat him though, betraying Eddie would feel so much worse than withholding a little truth from Bobby. The lesser of two evils is to wait it out, be there for Eddie, and just hope it all works out.

Before Bobby can analyse them any further the alarm sounds and the whole team bundle into the truck. Buck is still quiet and Eddie is lost in his own thoughts. The team worries about them, but they have a job to do and don't have time to pick apart their behaviour right now. Luckily, the tension breaks as they roll up to the scene, both Eddie and Buck coming back to themselves now they have something else to focus on but the clusterfuck of their own emotional turmoil.

The day before the party is uneventful. It's unusually quiet at work and the team spend most of the day draped over each other on the couch stewing in boredom whilst the clock ticks away. When shift is finally over, Eddie and Buck pack up and walk to Eddie's truck together.

"Thanks for this, Abuela is adamant I can't do it all myself. I swear if you and Erick hadn't volunteered to help too, she would break her neck trying to string lights around the yard herself."

Buck laughs as he pictures it and leans in to nudge their shoulders together.

"Well I wouldn't have had to volunteer if you'd just asked me in the first place," Buck points out. 

Eddie rolls his eyes. Buck had only known they needed help setting up for the party because he was on the phone when Eddie had the squabble with Isabel over her trying to do everything. The older woman had, in turn, insisted it was his birthday and he shouldn't be working on it alone. Buck had easily offered a solution, Pepa volunteering her son's help too. Luckily for Erick, he didn't actually mind helping.

"Yeah, yeah, let it go." Eddie brushed him off and climbed into the car, turning back to Buck once they were both seated. "I didn't want to bother you just because my family insists on going overboard."

"Oh please, I live to go overboard. Always call me. Plus, I love your Abuela and we can't have her up on a ladder against that fence. I don't trust the builder." Buck's shit-eating grin made Eddie's heart stop and he was almost too love-struck to register Buck's jab.

"Excuse you? I'm telling Erick you said that That fence is fantastic, we did a great job," He insists. 

Buck hums placatingly and Eddie scoffs at him and slaps his thigh without thinking. His hand freezes as he realises what he's done. Buck's gentle eyes meet Eddie's own panic-stricken ones. Eddie pulls his hand back as if Buck's thigh is on fire.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that,” Eddie stutters and Buck smiles softly.

"No problem, man. I don't mind."

Eddie turns to put on his seatbelt mind races as Buck's words register. " _ I don't mind". _ Eddie can't help but imagine long nights driving around with Buck, hand on his thigh as the radio plays quietly between them. It's just a fantasy though. He knows Buck is just brushing off the awkwardness as he's done a lot lately. That thought makes Eddie's heart pound for a different reason thinking of all the awkward situations he's put them in lately because he can't keep his hands to himself or his feelings in check. He feels extremely lucky that Buck hasn't questioned him about it.

Buck breaks the tension, his own seatbelt clicking into place as he says, "Okay, Bob the Builder, let's go see if your fence is up to code."

Eddie can't help his amused huff, eyes once again returning to Buck's smiling face.

"You're ridiculous," he comments. 

" _ And you're ridiculously in love with him,"  _ his mind replies. 

That evening Eddie watches as Buck strings the last of the lights, wrapping the end around the low branches of the tree at the bottom of the grass. Eddie can't help it as his eyes take in the stretch of the t-shirt across Buck's shoulders as the muscles flex. Buck has one long leg bent against the tree, using it for stability as he stands with the other on a chair in order to see over the branch. The position drags Eddie’s attention to his ass and the way it sticks out towards him when Buck ducks under the branch to make sure the lights aren't getting tangled on the other side. It's a sweet, sweet torture.

"If you insist on not telling him your feelings, you might want to stop ogling him." 

Eddie jolts, head whipping to look at his Abuela. He hadn't even noticed her walk up beside him. He doesn't miss the judgement in her tone.

"You know I can't tell him."

"No, I know you said you can't. I also know you are wrong," She insists.

"I'm not having this conversation again. I need him, Abuela, Christopher loves him. I can't just lose him because I can't control my own feelings."

"You don't need to control them. You need to let them out, stop hurting yourself. He is not going to leave you. He loves you both too I can see it, why can't you?" Eddie sighs. Of course Buck loves them, Buck loves everyone he keeps close fiercely and endlessly. He's a loving person.

"It's not the same," he says, "he loves me like a friend or a brother. I can't just tell him I'm in love with him and expect him to join our family and raise my son. He doesn't want me like that."

"Did he tell you this?" Isabel's eyebrows are raised, eyes narrowed and Exdie knows exactly what that look says. She thinks he's being an idiot. He feels like an idiot, too.

"Of course not, I ca-"

"Then you can't say it like it is a fact. You don't know. You have no reason to believe it because you haven't given him a chance to tell you."

"And if I take the chance and I'm right? How do I tell Christopher that Buck left because I was selfish and wanted too much? How do I survive when my heart shatters again?"

Eddie is pulled into her arms before he's finished speaking, tears in his eyes. Despite their height difference Eddie allows himself to sink into her embrace. 

"You can survive anything. I have no doubt about that," Isabel says confidently. Then, she pulls back to look into his eyes "But I don't think you will have to. Buck isn't going to abandon you or Christopher, he loves you too much. Even if he doesn't love you the way you love him -and I truly believe he does mijo- he still loves you too much to just leave. He's not a fool, Edmundo, he belongs in your life and he knows it."

Eddie stands in the yard as the sun sets, feeling the full effect of it's rays as the hope warms him. His Abuela had never thought he and Shannon belonged together, but Eddie had been blinded by his love. He'd thought she felt just as strongly as him. Maybe it's a sign. She was right before, and now here he is feeling like Buck could never love him the same way.  _ Maybe, _ he thinks,  _ I'm blinded again _ .

"You really think I should tell him? That it'll all be okay?"

"It's up to you. But I do believe he deserves to know how much he is loved, and you deserve better than to hide your feelings when you do not need to. I think you will feel better if you tell him, because at least you will know where you stand. All this questioning yourself is bad for you. Plus, you already told him, you just need to make him understand. All of this pining away in Spanish is pathetic." At Eddie's questioning look she smirks, eyes gleaming full of laughter at his expense. "Did you really think no one would notice? You're not the only one who speaks Spanish, Eddie, now go help your novio before he falls."

Eddie looks to where Buck is, clinging to the tree as the chair balances on two legs and snorts. 

"I'm okay," Buck calls out as he notices their eyes on him, "just finishing, you guys carry on." 

Eddie can't help but laugh and when he looks back Isabel's eyes are soft with honesty.

"I like him. I will be proud to call him my grandson so hurry up and marry him, okay?"

"Thought it was my choice to tell him," Eddie asks, his face heating. Isabel waves him off and pulls Eddie in for another as he blushes, head ducked into her shoulder. Buck jogs over and wraps an arm across Eddie's back.

"Hey, I helped too," he exclaims "Can I get in on the hugs or is it family only?"

Before Eddie can utter a response, Isabel pulls him into her arms "Of course you can, Mijo"

Buck wraps his arms around her, making Eddie smile as he towers over her even as he bends lower. Isabel pulls back with a hand on Buck's cheek, smiling as she nods firmly before walking away to give them time alone. Buck watches her leave, confused by her actions. He turns to Eddie, shooting him a look. Eddie doesn't know how to explain Abuela's behaviour without giving away their conversation. Instead, he steps towards Buck pulling him into a hug of his own.

"Tu eres familia, Buck" He wraps his arms around Buck's waist, relishing as Buck's arms wrap around him and reel him closer. Buck tucks his head into Eddie's shoulder, glad for the other man’s open affection. Eddie rests his forehead against Buck's jaw as he repeats himself, this time in English.

"You are family, I don't know what I'd do without you." 

Eddie is hit with relief as he lets the words out. They're not what he wants to say, but they will do for now. He'll figure out the rest later. Maybe after the party. Yeah, he'll tell him then. Buck squeezes Eddie tighter, smiling into his shirt before straightening up. His arm is still loose around Eddie, hand caressing his back whilst the other grips his bicep with a comforting squeeze.

"I love you too, Eddie." Buck needs him to know in that moment, needs him to understand how much he cares about him. His tongue runs along his bottom lip before he decides to say what is on his mind. "I'm glad I have you in my life. I'd be honoured to be a part of your family."

Eddie's breath catches, heart in his throat and drumming incessantly. He looks awed at the other man, wishing Buck meant them the way he desperately wants him to mean them. He doesn't know if it is. He was so sure Buck didn't love him back but now he's conflicted as he looks into those loving blue eyes.

Buck let's his heart take over his body as he sees the soft look on Eddie's face. He feels like an outsider looking in as he steps forward again, head tilting up just slightly to place his lips against Eddie's temple. He probably holds his lips there for a best too long, but the only other witness is Eddie and he doesn't seem to mind. 

As Buck steps back, he moves his hand from Eddie's arm, thumb now brushing where his lips just were as Eddie's eyes drift open.

"What was that for?" Eddie asks, heart soaring as he allows the words to fly free, finally allowing himself to wonder about Buck's feelings. He allows himself to hope, in this moment, that Buck loves him too. That Buck will vanquish all his doubts and prove that his abuela is right. He hopes, for the first time, that Buck loves him back because for the first time it seems like a possibility.

Buck wants to tell him. He wants to say he wants more than that, wants to kiss Eddie every day. He wants to tell him he's in love with him and hopes that Eddie is ready to say it back but the voice in the back of his head reminds him he can't. He thinks to himself that Eddie isn't ready, he has to wait. 

Buck can't lie though. He can't skip over the moment and pretend it's not happening, not when Eddie is standing this close and looking at him with so much love. He can't pretend he doesn't feel it too when he knows it must be written all over his face. So instead, he smiles softly and whispers a truth he can afford to part with instead of the parade of truth that wants to match out.

"Because I wanted to and because it felt right."

A part of Eddie tells him he should feel crushed. A niggling doubt telling him to hide away and keep his feelings to himself. As he looks into Buck's impassioned eyes he forces himself to ignore it. He believes Buck loves him. Whether as a friend or more Buck loves him and he knows in his heart he won't leave. He knows he can live with it if Buck doesn't feel the same, what he can't live with is the crushing against his chest every time he forces his feelings to stay trapped. He decides to take the risk. He'd rather be rejected and move on than keep his feelings hidden and let them keep adding strain to his friendship. In that moment, he decides to tell Buck how he feels right after the party tomorrow. 

Eddie grins, mind made up, and Buck quirks his lips in response. Eddie looks gorgeous when he smiles like that and Buck is filled with an immense pride at having caused it. He swears to himself that as soon as Eddie is ready to be with him he's going to make him smile like that every day.

The moment is halted as Erick calls out from the back door.

"You guys had better get home, we're being summoned for prep before the party too. Seems we need to catch up on some sleep before they work us to death." 

Eddie steps back at the interruption, turning away from Buck to look to his cousin. Erick turns back into the house without awaiting a reply and laughing in response to Pepa's outrage at his comment. With the tension gone, Eddie doesn't know what to say. He doesn't have to say anything though as Buck steps beside him with an arm around his back and the two begin walking back to the house

"Come on, we'd better get Christopher home. Big day tomorrow."

Eddie almost scoffs, thinking Buck doesn't know the half of it. He doesn't though, he's too happy to be worried about his impending confession.

He knows Buck will end up staying with them tonight, then he'll come with Eddie tomorrow to help with drinks and food, because he's a saint. Eddie's going to enjoy the party with his family and friends and Buck will be there with him the whole time. Then, he'll tell Buck he's in love with him and everything will be okay, no matter how Buck feels in return. Because they care about each other.

"Yeah, let's go home, Querido." 

Buck's answering smile is bright, and together they collect Christopher and drive back to Eddie's house. Buck doesn't hesitate to head to bed after Christopher is asleep, leaving Eddie to bask in the familiarity of it all. Buck belongs here, he just needs to make sure he knows it.

Buck falls asleep that night smiling, thinking maybe Eddie will be ready soon.


	6. Our Crazy Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of Eddie's party and all is revealed.
> 
> A roller coaster of different emotions ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW. This took forever and two rounds of deleting half the chapter to rewrite.  
> But.  
> It.  
> Is.  
> FINALLY.  
> Finished!!!!  
> Thank you all for your kudos, comments and to everyone who has helped motivate me in the writers cafe!!!  
> It's a bit of a long one, but I couldn't resist the angst : D  
> If you notice any mistakes or Spanish errors feel free to let me know.  
> Hope you enjoy it!!

The setting sun is followed by a light breeze that carries through the backyard and kisses Eddie’s skin. The feeling of it does little to soothe the burn of Eddie’s cheeks as the cackles rage on behind him ignoring his mortification. Eddie’s only relief from his family’s teasing is found in the knowledge that Buck is too far away to hear over the sot beat of the music and chattering. Eddie has found his eyes drifting to Buck frequently since the party started, both because of how unfairly attractive he looks in his tight grey jeans and to check that none of his family were scaring him away before Eddie has a chance at knowing if Buck will ever be his.

Buck had spent most of his time that afternoon surrounded by the sounds of laughing kids, silently nominating himself as the evenings child entertainment service as soon as the kids had began to pour in. Word had spread of Eddie’s crush, because nothing stays secret for long in his family, so everyone had made a point to flock to Buck shortly after arriving in order to introduce themselves. Eddie was never far behind, making sure they didn’t say anything that would reveal his feelings or embarrass him in some other way. The kids, trailing behind their parents for introductions, had all taken an immediate liking to Buck just as all kids tended to do. Buck made a point to crouch down to introduce himself to them all, bright smile and kind eyes emitting a welcoming warmth that instantly gained their affections as easily as he has earned Christopher’s at the beginning of their friendship. He also unknowingly gained the affections of their parents, many of whom had sent Eddie approving look at Buck’s adorable behaviour.

Now Buck seems to be taking a break from a chaotic game of tag by the light-covered tree at the bottom of the yard and is making his way to the vast arrays of food spread across the three fold-up table that they’d set up together along the fence hours before. Christopher is, of course, right alongside him. Eddie admires the pair fondly as Buck holds a plate for Christopher whilst they make their way along, Buck patiently following Christopher’s instructions and plating up his food. A breathy chuckle escapes Eddie as Christopher tilts his head to the side and shakes it slightly, giving Buck another instruction before Buck removes the smallest amount of coleslaw from his picky son’s plate. He can’t see Buck’s reaction but he can imagine the patient smile and affectionate eyeroll based on the slump of his shoulders and the laugh it pulls from Christopher. Eddie watches one of Christopher’s crutches slip whilst the boy’s shoulders shake with the force of his amusement. Buck instinctively reaches out with his free hand to steady him then lets go as soon as Christopher is situated, both swiftly returning to their meticulous selection process.

An amused hum from behind him draws Eddie’s attention, his face heating against the breeze as he realises he’d been caught staring at Buck again.

“You’re staring pretty hard at that food table Edmundo, tienes hambre?” 

Pepa’s eyes lift in question despite the fact they all know she’s not talking about food. This fact is evident as Josie replies, “Nope, he’s just thirsty,” causing the table to erupt into laughter again at Eddie’s expense. Eddie’s eyes lift to the darkening sky in exasperation and he notices it’s an unfortunately clear evening. If there were clouds he could hope for rain to shut down the party and allow him an escape from the near-constant barrage of jokes and comments about his obvious feelings for Buck, but alas no luck. 

“I hate you all.” Eddie’s pout is back in full force when his narrowed gaze returns to the table, shrouded with accusation as he scans them one by one, “Especially you,” he adds as his eyes fall on Josie “You are my least favourite sister.”

“Well duh, everyone knows I’m your favourite sister,” Paula gloats, the oldest poking her tongue out at the younger two sitting across from her then throwing her arms around Eddie’s neck “right baby bro?” 

Josie returns the childish gesture before taking another sip of her drink whereas Valentina, being more like Eddie, just brushes off the comment with a half-hearted eye-roll.

“Wow, I’m glad it’s not just me that can’t seem to grow out of the ‘baby bro’ title.” 

Eddie’s head whips towards the sound of Buck’s voice as the man appears behind him and leans over his shoulder to place Christopher’s plate down onto the table. Pepa begins moving drinks and empty glasses to assist him whilst Eddie remains frozen by Buck’s sudden proximity. Paula turns to grab the empty chair left abandoned by her husband, who had been quickly absorbed into the ravenous crowd when he left to dance with Eddie’s mother, Helena, ten minutes ago. Eddie had so far been too distracted with food and attention to do much dancing, although the thought isn’t as appealing when the only person he really wants to dance with has no idea of his desires. 

Eddie has enjoyed the party so far, despite it having barely started. He’s enjoyed seeing Buck taking care of Christopher so Eddie can relax and he’s enjoyed seeing Buck interacting so easily with his family. Buck fits right in amongst the Diaz family despite how much his presence stands out to Eddie, the brightness he exudes constantly summoning Eddie's gaze. It feels like Buck is meant to be here with Eddie and Christopher, made to be a part of their family, and seeing the larger interaction has only helped nurture the seed of want that has sprouted overtime. That seed has now grown to become a blooming bouquet of chrysanthemums beneath the cage of Eddie’s ribs, delicate petals fighting valiantly to be set free and show off their beauty to the world. 

Eddie has become more and more confident in his plan as the evening ticks by, becoming increasingly assured that Buck is in his life to stay. He knows Buck won’t be scared away by Eddie’s feelings even if Buck doesn’t feel the unrelenting yanking at his soul that Eddie feels urging him towards Buck at every given opportunity. God I hope he feels this too. 

“You need help or you got it?” Buck asks as he takes the chair from Paula and places it at the table next to Eddie so Christopher can sit down. Chris assures him he’s fine and manoeuvres his way between the chairs to his seat, carefully placing his crutches so they are leaning against the leg of the table. The interaction coaxes Eddie’s lips into another involuntary smile and he turns to Buck, mouthing his thanks. Buck just shrugs nonchalantly and winks at him in reply before turning to procure a chair for himself. Eddie’s heart stutters at the gesture and it takes until Buck is back with a chair for Eddie’s brain to regain function of his body so he can move back and allow room for Buck to slot the chair in the space beside his own.

“So Buck, how are you enjoying meeting the rest of the family so far?” Pepa’s tone is casual but Eddie knows his aunt well enough to sense the careful composure of her words. She said ‘the family’ not ‘our family’ or ‘Eddie’s family’. It may seem an insignificant detail but the Diaz women are very possessive over their family, the ‘our’ always seeming to be emphasised with a boastful pride. Saying ‘the family’ must be calculated and Eddie is immediately concerned with her motives behind this new topic of conversation, especially given that the previous topic only served to embarrass him. Eddie narrows his eyes at the older woman and gets a bewildered eye-brow raise in surprise that halts his suspicion. Huh, maybe he is just being paranoid. 

“It’s great, the whole family is so nice.” Buck says the words through a beaming smile that morphs into a laugh as Eddie’s sisters all proclaim “Lies!” in unison then proceed to rattle off stories of their uncle Martín’s horrible wife Lydia.

“I haven’t met Lydia, which one is she?”

“Oh she doesn’t come to these things, Martín is only here because it’s just family. Any other time they are embarrassed to be seen around us and Lydia doesn’t even bother to try. She told us the first time we met her that she will never take our family name because she thinks hers sounds more distinguished and she doesn’t want people to get the wrong idea about her. As if being a Diaz is something to be ashamed of.”

“That’s horrible, and also stupid, you guys are a great family. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that?” Buck’s sincere disbelief is obvious, sounding affronted on their behalf. His reaction pleases the table and even catches the approving attention of a few others milling nearby talking on the patio. The words strike Eddie’s core, pride swelling at hearing Buck proclaim such fondness towards the idea of joining his family. He knows it’s just his own love-addled mind projecting his own desires, his want to complete his little branch of the family tree with Buck at his side, but the way Buck says it with such a casually earnest tone has his heart soaring and leaving a trail of burning yellow light in its wake. 

“I’m glad you think so,” Paula teases, “with the way Christopher’s been clinging to you all day it would appear you’ve been claimed as a Diaz already.” 

Oh, so that’s where they’re going with this. He should have known they wouldn’t be able to resist meddling.

Eddie’s eyes are like saucers as he gapes at his sister in disbelief before he shuts his mouth with a snap, jaw locked as he glares pointedly between the four women surrounding them. He can feel his face once again warming despite the comfortably cool night. Valentina had scarcely joined the teasing and was therefore, despite Paula’s claims, his true favourite sister. She doesn’t say anything to further his embarrassment now either, just mouths ‘look’ and raises her beer bottle to her lips, finger closest to the rim extending discreetly to point in Buck’s direction. 

Buck’s head is ducked sheepishly, not knowing quite what to say to the comment. Eddie can see the glint of pride in his eyes from this angle though. There is also no hiding the red flush travelling up Buck’s neck and cheeks which only intensifies as Christopher pipes in with an added “My Buck is family, right Buck?” 

Eddie thinks back on the previous night and the way Buck had reacted when he’d shared the same sentiment, allowing himself to translate a shred of his affections for the first time before deciding he was going to share his feelings. Then, Buck had agreed, told him he loved him, kissed him. He wonders if the same thoughts are swimming through Buck’s mind. He allows himself to hope that Buck is blushing at the thought of kissing Eddie now as he had then, or more passionately than yesterday’s sweet press of lips to his forehead, and not just because he’d been put on the spot in a crowd of new people. 

Eddie opens his mouth in the hope that an appropriate response will tumble out, He has no such luck and is instead left gaping as Buck hums his agreement to Christopher. Pepa looks like the cat that got the cream, her smile as bright as her knowing eyes. His sisters wear similar expressions as they eye Eddie’s slack jaw, each ranging between playful teasing and smug contentment. Eddie feels his phone vibrate against his thigh and reaches into his pocket, glad for the excuse to turn away from the awkwardness that had settled over the table. 

**Valentina:** Just tell him, Eddie. You don’t need to hide your feelings.

He raises his head to catch his sister's eyes. They widen in response, her lips pursed with determination as she nods to Buck. As if Eddie would think she was talking about anyone else. He rolls his eyes at her, head shaking in exasperation as he begins typing out his reply. She must misunderstand his movement, as his phone goes off again in his hand whilst he’s still compiling his reply.

**Valentina:** Seriously Eddie, stop doubting this you idiot!!!!!

Eddie glares at her pointing to her phone before waving his hand in a cutting motion across his neck, indicating for her to halt her rapid typing so he can reply.

**Eddie:** I’m going to tell him tonight after the party. Stop pushing me or you’ll just stress me out more.

Valentina makes a pleased noise akin to a gasp, sucking in her lips to try and hold in her excitement. She hides her phone quickly as the noise gathers attention from the others at the table, raising her eyebrows innocently as she lifts her drink to her lips then grinning at Eddie once the prying eyes are averted. Her smile turns teasing as she picks her phone up again

**Valentina:** Are you going to tell him in English this time???

His eyes narrow at her, only to receive a teasing lift of her brow in response. This time it doesn’t go unnoticed by Josie, who is just as nosy and relentless as the woman she is named after. Eddie turns away hoping to avoid attention before she decides to alert Pepa and Paula to the unspoken conversation they’re having.

**Eddie:** Yes, now stop bringing it up. Also, don’t tell the others. 

Eddie feels the need to clarify though he knows it’s unnecessary. Valentina is much like Eddie when it comes to things like this and he knows she will understand his need to keep the pressure off and avoid the family’s prying. This is confirmed as she shoots him a flat look across the table and mouths “duh” in response, the jerk of her head indicating her clear offence. He smiles back at her and lifts his chin in thanks before turning back to the conversation. 

Thankfully the others have fallen into another easy conversation and it seems only Josie noticed their silent exchange. Valentina, true to her word, shrugs off her older sister’s attempt to divulge the information whilst Eddie avoids her suspicious gaze. The conversation is far less intense from that point, the mood changing with the setting sun. As more and more people arrive cheerful conversation and catching up turns to vivacious movement, the backyard begins to come alive. The sounds of music and laughter gradually grow louder, spurring a large majority of the Diaz family to flock to the speakers and begin moving with the beat beneath the bright lights that are draped around the space, illuminating the area with the soft glow of the colours. 

With the sun’s light now completely faded Eddie often finds himself fascinated by the different colours that dance across Buck’s face as the lights flicker and change in a looping sequence. Now, Buck sits engrossed in conversation with Abuela that Eddie isn’t paying enough attention to. He’s too occupied with the way Bucks neck glows a deep fuchsia as he tilts his head back to swig from his beer. The contrast of the shadows increases as his neck contracts to swallow, the lights shifting and turning a bright cyan, highlighting the spot beneath Buck’s jaw that Eddie yearns to press his lips against most. 

“Puedes ayudarme a obtener mi jugo por favor?” Eddie doesn’t register that he’s being spoken to at first. He hadn’t even noticed the small girl appear beside him. He peels his eyes away from Buck’s accentuated neck to give his cousin’s daughter Sofia his attention. He’s about to ask her what she wanted, having been too distracted to comprehend her question the first time. Before he is fully turned to her, a hand reaches across the table and hands her a cup of juice, Buck only briefly detaching his attention from Abuela to smile at Sofia’s soft “gracias”.

Buck had followed her outstretched hand and reached for the juice without thinking, attention still trained on the conversation. Eddie figures it must have been an instinct. He reasons that Buck must have recognised her “por favor” and seen she was pointing to the drink she couldn’t reach. It’s a sensible conclusion, her intent clear enough from her actions. Buck didn’t need to know what she was saying. Couldn’t have known what she was saying. Buck doesn’t speak Spanish, right? 

Eddie shakes away the niggling thought, reaching for his own drink to occupy his mouth before he does something stupid like voicing the question. Once again distracted by his own thoughts Eddie swoops his drink off the table intending to lift the bottle to his lips. He doesn’t notice the much smaller hand until they’re colliding, Sofia’s juice falling to the floor with Eddie’s bottle. The glass shatters against the floor, the cup bouncing three times before rolling to a stop against the leg of Eddie’s chair. The liquids are mixing and spreading around Sofia’s feet and the scattering of glass shards. 

The girl panics, apologising profusely and bemoaning her ruined shoes. Eddie turns to placate her, after all it was his fault for not paying attention as Sofia had moved to place her drink back on the table, but Buck has already pushed his chair back and turned to calm her.

“Woah, cálmate cariño, no hay problema. Estás bien?” 

Eddie jolts to a halt mid turn at the words spilling fluidly from Buck’s pink lips as they curve into a gentle smile that can often be seen on calls. He barely registers Sofia’s bouncing curls as she nods frantically before stepping forward and reaching for the glass. Instinct has him moving his hand over hers and stopping her from touching the sharp edges. His mind is too occupied with the rush of confused thoughts, flowing much like the splattered drinks seeping beneath Buck’s chair and his own. He knows he should do something, move, help clean up but his body is frozen still as his mind races.

“Ten cuidado, no lo toques. No quiero que te cortes las manos. vamos a ver tus pies, si?”

Buck speaks again, the words flowing as easily as if he’d said them a thousand times before and Eddie’s breathing becomes sharp as Buck lifts Sofia away from the mess and begins checking her feet for glass. Eddie’s heart is pounding, throat closing against the rising questions and turning him dizzy as the hounding thoughts form a tornado at the forefront of his mind. The force of it tilts his worldview, knocking him off kilter as he realises the undeniable new reality. Buck has known Spanish this whole time. He knows what Eddie has been saying, what he’s been feeling.

His mouth opens to release a choked noise that Eddie himself can’t hear over the sound of his own heart pummelling violently against his ribs. He only knows he made a sound because his Abuela’s concerned eyes turn to him and pin him in place briefly before he bolts. He avoids his sister’s grasping hands, needing to get away. This is not the plan. This can’t be happening. His father’s hand halts him on the way to the door, his mother stepping in front of him with her arms outstretched and face marred with worry at his agitated rushing. He can’t allow himself to stop and explain, doesn’t know how he would begin to describe the sharp twisting pain in his chest. He just knows he needs to get away; he needs to breath. 

He knows it only causes her more worry as he stupidly stumbles out his desperate need for air even as he walks inside leaving the chill of the night’s breeze behind him. He doesn’t let it bother him. After all he can’t possibly look as stupid as he feels. Eddie staggers his way to the bathroom, ignoring Chimney’s calls of concern drifting after him and Maddie’s baffled “What’s up with Eddie?” from the open front door. Great, more people arriving to witness his naivety. He can’t help the growl of frustration as he races past them, dreading explaining everything once news spreads to the rest of the team.

Eddie hunches his body to drop his head against the cool sink edge, the bathroom door flinging shut behind him as he crashes through the door. He feels better with more space between himself and the party, the rumbling voices muffled with the distance and the barrier of the door. He takes the time to breathe deeply. The chill of the room helps to ground him despite it being slightly warmer than outside. He takes deep slow breaths, blowing them out loudly in an attempt to hush his scrambled thoughts and focus on relieving pressure in his throat. 

It takes him a few minutes but eventually he calms his breathing enough that his head no longer feels as if it will roll right off his shoulders and bury itself into the floor. His heartbeat softens, now only a dull thudding in his chest as opposed to the previous roaring procession that had been drowning his ears. The downside of this is that, without the distraction of his panicking heart and strangled lungs, he becomes more and more aware of the regret thrumming at his closed eyelids, of the embarrassment biting its way across his body like a colony of fire ants attacking his skin. Tears prickle behind his eyes, stinging as he can’t help but go over every time he’s used Spanish around Buck and imagines what Buck must have been thinking. 

One predominant question is persistent in his mind, doubt and hope conflicting in their answers as he debates with himself: Why hasn’t Buck said anything? 

Eddie slumps further onto the sink as self-doubt flashes red and bright in his mind. He doesn’t love you back idiot. He was probably just trying to pretend it wasn’t happening whilst you made a fool of yourself, lusting after him like he was the only drop of water in the middle of the desert. Other thoughts chime in, that Buck is his best friend and a good guy, the kind of guy who would let him down easy if he didn’t like him. Buck wouldn’t let Eddie make a fool of himself. He tries to remind himself that Buck hadn’t protested his recent displays of affection. Hope reminds him that Buck leans into Eddie’s side when they watch movies, smiles up at him when Eddie gives in and moves his arm so Buck can get more comfortable against him. That Buck kissed him yesterday. The doubt is persistent though. It chews away at every positive thought, mangling them with sharp and self-deprecating teeth until they’re unrecognisable, before spitting them out. 

_ If he loved you, why didn’t he say anything?  _

Eddie can’t deny that the doubt has plausibility. Buck is never one to shy away, if he wants something he does everything in his power to try and obtain it. He’s determined and courageous. He wears his heart on his sleeve. His heart just doesn’t beat for you. Eddie’s heart sinks, no longer unable to resist drowning in the dark shadows doubt has cast. Buck speaks Spanish. He knew what Eddie was saying, had even used one of the endearments on Sofia so Eddie knows for definite he understands them. He knew Eddie was in love with him and did nothing about it so it means he didn’t want to do anything about it. He doesn’t want Eddie, not like that. He must have been ignoring it, hoping Eddie would get over him. Pretending not to notice to keep their friendship from becoming awkward. 

Eddie feels sunken and flops a hand onto the tap to get the water running. If Buck doesn’t want to be with him Eddie knows he has to respect that. Nothing has to change, he knows it, he just needs to pull himself together. He can get over this. It’s good enough to be Buck’s friend as long as he gets to keep him in his life. He can pretend for a little longer. He can get over Buck. Probably. Eddie releases another dejected sigh and splashes his face with the water, trying to wash away the tension as well as the forming tears.

“Eddie? Open up.” Buck’s voice floats over the sound of the running water, penetrating through the door and straight to Eddie’s strangled heart “I know you’re in there man, Maddie told me. Can we talk man, please?”

Eddie lets out a strangled noise at the term “man”. Man, friend, buddy, that’s all they would ever be to each other. Eddie wants to stay behind the door and hide from the soft pity behind Buck’s soft tone, too scared to see it swimming in the pools of Buck’s eyes. He wants to crawl into the sink and stave off the embarrassment here for the rest of the night at least. Oh God, he thinks, then groans quietly again as the waves of embarrassment descend. He’d actually said ‘tantas curvas y yo sin frenos’ and Buck might know what that means! Eddie sends a silent prayer to whoever’s listening begging for Buck to not understand that line. Or for lightning to strike before he ever has a chance to mention it. Anything is preferable to the unyielding embarrassment of that statement. He knew as soon as the words had left his mouth that day that the cheesy line was going to come back to bite him, but he’d never imagined it would be like this.

The door handle turns wrenching Eddie from his desperate pleas to the heavens. The door pops open with a click and Buck’s voice is clearer as it drifts through the crack in the door. 

“You left the door open. Can I come in?” 

It’s such a Buck thing to do that Eddie can’t help the upward twitch at the left corner of his lips. He knows he’s being foolish as soon as Buck is finished speaking. Buck is the guy that won’t take advantage of an open door no matter how much he wants to enter, because he knows you’re upset. Buck is understanding and sweet and honest. He has faith that Buck will understand and he’ll be patient as Eddie tries to move on. Buck won’t let things become awkward, he’s too good for that. 

With that thought Eddie straightens his spine and turns to the door, pulling it open quickly before he has time to change his mind. His eyes meet Bucks immediately, the other man’s body jolting forward slightly before stopping in his tracks as he takes in Eddie’s demeanour. They both stand staring at each other, each observing the other from either side of the open doorway.

“You okay, Eddie? You don’t look so good.”

A choked chuckle flights out of Eddie’s throat, his hand lifting to rub the back of his neck as he always does when he’s uncomfortable or stressed. Safe to say he’s feeling both those overwhelming feelings right now. Eddie clears his throat and lifts his eyes to meet Buck’s again. He’s relieved to see the concern there instead of the expected pity.

“Yeah, just embarrassed,” Eddie’s smile is tight as he tries to give off some semblance of ease, attempting to laugh off the situation and hoping he can avoid the awkward talk to come. “It’s not every day that you realise your best friend speaks Spanish and you completely failed to realise.”

Buck winces at the statement, hand twitching to reach for Eddie before clenching it around the bottom of his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Eddie. I didn’t mean to upset you. I should have told you I just -” 

Eddie’s eyes drift and he has to cut off Buck’s rambling as he realises the other man feels guilt, is accepting blame as if he’d done something wrong.

“Don’t worry about it Buck. It’s not your fault,” Eddie assures, “I’ll just stop with the pet names and we can pretend it never happened okay?”

Eddie feels Buck tense even with the distance between them and reluctantly realigns their gazes. He sees the determined set of Buck’s jaw and inhales deeply as Buck moves forward half a step, foot breaching the doorway between them.

“What if I don’t want you to stop?” 

Eddie’s mind is abruptly silent. No hope, no doubt, only this moment as Buck’s words ring between them. Buck’s eyes are determined still, but there’s something else shining through, a light that draws Eddie in and makes his own heart burn, flames flickering towards the man in front of him. Eddie can’t piece it together, is too scared he’ll do it wrong. He can’t trust that the flame of hope won’t engulf his thoughts only to burn him when they’re thrown back in his face. No, he needs to know what Buck is thinking, what he’s feeling. He needs to be sure before he takes the leap, not trusting himself to judge the height of the fall.

“Why would you not want me to stop?” Despite his reservations, he can’t seem to stop the uplifted lilt in his voice, his optimism peeking through as he anticipates Buck’s answer.

The other man bites his lip as he steps forward, breaching the doorway completely and removing the space between them. His head tilts down towards Eddie’s whispering the words like a secret between them despite the otherwise empty hall,

“Because I’m in love with you.” 

Buck’s voice is breathless, seeming relieved, as if he’s been holding back the words in his throat for too long and has finally set them free. His smile is light and disbelieving, growing to a grin as Eddie’s stoic demeanour brightens, the tension melting from his shoulders as he leans further into the minuscule gap between their chests. 

“I love you too.” 

It’s all Eddie can think to say, his body alight with the bright flames of hope as they devour him, tickling his skin with goosebumps and warming him right through to his soul.

Buck chuckles breathlessly, one hand lifting to tap Eddie’s chest right over his heart as the other glides around the back of his neck. Buck’s self-satisfied announcement of “I know” is the last thing Eddie hears before Buck’s lips touch his. He knows it is coming, obvious in Buck’s movements but the kiss still extracts a gasp from Eddie’s lips, partly in awe of the man in front of him but mostly in disbelief that Buck is here, telling him everything he wanted to hear for so long.

The disbelief is short-lived and Eddie is quick to reciprocate, his lips moulding to Buck’s as if they’d been made to piece together just like this. Buck’s lips are warm and soft as they move against his, a comfort that Eddie can’t help but yearn to be closer to. His hands reach for Buck without thinking, one hand on either side of his waist, thumbs brushing his ribs, as he walks them backwards to the wall behind. Buck makes contact with the wall and yet Eddie moves closer still, pressing their bodies together until their chests are touching and Buck’s legs are widening to allow Eddie to step between them. Bringing them impossibly closer as their kiss heats up, passion blazing between their two hearts. 

It’s Buck’s turn to gasp as Eddie’s teeth work his bottom lip, his tongue running along the spot before delving past Buck’s parted lips. He hears and feels the rumble of Buck’s groan into his mouth and can’t help but smile into the kiss at the knowledge he caused it. Buck’s hand clenches in Eddie’s shirt in response, clinging over Eddie’s heart as if he could reach in and claim it. Eddie would let him claim it; after all, it belongs to Buck now too.

The two part on a gasp, Buck panting against Eddie’s ear as he tries to catch his breath before he leans forward to press his elated smile into Eddie’s neck. Eddie turns his head slightly, just enough to see Buck’s closed eyes and the soft pink tinge to his cheek. He presses his lips against the blush, feeling the same warmth against Buck’s skin that intoxicates his own heart with exhilaration. Buck releases a satisfied hum against Eddie’s skin, please at the sweet gesture. Eddie does it again and feels Buck’s smile widen against his shoulder. 

Neither wants to move and break the moment but Eddie can’t resist tilting his mouth to Buck’s ear and murmurs an additional “I love you, Evan Buckley,” before kissing Buck’s neck just because he can. 

Buck’s “I love you too” is immediate and confident, there isn’t a moment of hesitation to feed Eddie’s long-forgotten doubts.

The two stand together in a beatific silence, held in each other’s arms for one beat, then two, before Buck tilts his head against the wall chuckling in disbelief. 

“God, I can’t believe how good it feels to finally say that to you.” 

Eddie’s hums, sharing the sentiment as he runs his hands from beneath Buck’s ribs up to his chest, thumbs stroking softly against the soft material of his shirt. Buck’s head moves again, eyes falling to catch Eddie’s gaze and hold it there. Eddie can see the relief in his wonder-struck stare. Buck’s eyes are lighter, more open in a way they haven’t been lately. Eddie had been too preoccupied with his own feelings to notice but now he can see that Buck is more relaxed around him in this moment than he has been in months. All because they were finally honest with each other.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” there’s no accusation in his tone, only curiosity and so Eddie is concerned when the question causes Buck to grimace and turn away. As Buck stays silent, Eddie’s concern grows. “I’m not trying to blame you for this, not at all I just- if you knew I was in love with you, what was holding you back?”

“I know, it’s nobody’s fault. It’s just a stupid misunderstanding. Pretty embarrassing actually.” Buck looks back at Eddie, biting his lip and Eddie has to resist the urge to pull it from Buck’s teeth and bite it for him.

“Is it more embarrassing than telling my best friend, who apparently does speak Spanish, how much I adore him in Spanish, repeatedly, for months?” Eddie is able to laugh it off now, his current ecstasy making it impossible to continue harbouring any negative feelings about their situation. How could he feel bad about anything that led him to this moment in the arms of the man he loves?

“Well, not quite that embarrassing. But only because I seem to recall a certain line about curves an-”

Eddie surges forward, practising his new favourite way of getting Buck to stop talking. Buck kisses back between his soft chuffs of laughter. When Eddie pulls away smiling, Buck continues to pepper gentle kisses along his jaw causing Eddie to sign in contentment and sink further against Buck’s body once again.

“Hmm, are you trying to distract me?” Eddie hums, tilting his head up as Buck work his way under his chin. 

Buck snorts as he pulls away, asking “Would you prefer I go back to talking about your little pick up line?” with a teasing smile. Eddie kisses his lips again.

“I’d rather talk about your embarrassing thing,” Eddie deflects and Buck snorts again before groaning into Eddie’s shoulder as he resigns himself to explaining the situation.

“I didn’t know what to think at first. I thought you were talking to Christopher to be honest. I was confused about why you were looking at me, that night in your living room. Then you kept saying things, looking at me, when no-one was around and I knew it was for me and them I didn’t know what to think because you’d start closing off whenever I questioned it. I was trying to figure out if you actually liked me, because you’d only ever say it in Spanish. Then I realised that you didn’t know I spoke Spanish and thought you weren’t ready for me to know, or you weren’t out or something.” Buck admits this all with a shrug and Eddie raises his eyebrows in understanding, chuckling to himself. 

“That’s not that embarrassing, I feel mislead.” 

Buck chuckles too, head turned to the side avoiding Eddie’s gaze.

“No, the embarrassing part is when your entire family heard me speaking Spanish by accident when I was trying to keep it secret and started questioning me about why I haven’t made a move yet.”

“Oh God,” Eddie groans “I feel like that’s still more embarrassing for me.”

“Eddie, Abuela called me out on knowing Spanish and not telling you. I had to blurt out that I was in love with you to stop them thinking I was stringing you along. I thought Josie was going to slap me when she told me you were only hiding your feelings because you were worried I didn’t feel the same, I felt so stupid. Pepa literally called me an idiot while your whole family agreed and basically told me to come and have my wicked way with you. I am thoroughly embarrassed, Eddie. Your parents were there. My sister walked in! They’re out there filling her in right now. Chimney is never going to let me live this down!”

Eddie throws his head back, his laughter echoing down the hall and Buck watches with a fond smile on his face. Buck rolls his eyes but can’t stave off the fondness at seeing Eddie so open after months of cloaking his feelings. Eddie’s laughter eventually dies down until the two are just left smiling at each other fondly, neither with any desire to look away.

Eddie leans forward, lips brushing against Buck’s as he whispers, “Welcome to the family I guess, Querido,” and feels Buck’s answering grin before capturing his lips in a kiss once again.

“Don’t mind those two, we’ll explain everything outside.” 

Both men are pulled from their daze upon hearing Josie’s voice down the hall and are greeted with the sight of Bobby, Athena, Hen, Karen and the kids all gaping at them. Eddie feels Buck’s head press into his neck with a groan, and can’t help but chuckle as he places a kiss on his forehead.

“The tale of two idiots has already started but I’m sure we can catch you up pretty quickly,” Josie continues, leading the team towards the yard. 

“You’re still my least favourite sister, Josephina!” He calls, smirking in satisfaction as she turns to glare at him and calls back “You’re my least favourite brother, Edmundo!”

“I’m your only brother, idiota, and Buck already knows my name!” She poked her tongue out at him and in a rare show of playfulness Eddie does the same, causing Buck to snort a laugh next to his ear.

“Very mature, Babe,” he remarks sarcastically. 

Eddie’s heart soars at the last word, grinning into one more kiss before they’re summoned back to the yard by Isabel.

“Enough canoodling you two! Did you forget there is a party out here for you Edmundo? You too, Evan, no hiding from your familia.”

“Damn, we both got first named, she’s serious,” Buck jokes against Eddie’s cheek before reluctantly pulling away. “I guess we’d better face them sooner or later, right?”

“You sure?” Eddie asks, nodding his head to the back door. “It’s not too late to back out. You sure you want to join my crazy family?” 

Eddie’s mostly joking, but Buck clearly noticed the tiny wave of uncertainty in the slight crease of his forehead. Buck leans his own forehead against Eddie’s, securing their hands together whilst the other is placed on Eddie’s face once again, holding their gaze steady.

“No hay nada que quiera más que tú, our crazy family included.” 

As Buck’s words caress his ears Eddie feels like he’s falling in love with him all over again.

The two walk, hand in hand, outside to a barrage of teasing and questions as well as more than a few requests to kiss. Even an inquiry of their wedding date, from Athena of all people, rouses a laugh from the crowd. Money is exchanged, Hen collecting from the rest of the team with a smug grin as she congratulates their relationship. Christopher, unquestionably, is over the moon.

As the party winds down that night, Eddie sways in the breeze with Christopher on his hip, and Buck’s arms around them both. His eyes are closed and his mind is peaceful bliss as he relishes in the moment under the clear night sky. The only thoughts he has are of his boys and how much he loves them. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. This whole fic has been a trip! I'm so thankful to all of you who have joined me on it. 
> 
> Feel free to message me on Tumblr (https://theycallmebobbob.tumblr.com) or Discord (@TheyCallMeBobbob) if you spot any mistakes especially with the Spanish, I'm always open to help improving my writing.


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